Why Talking Helps
Why do l health experts advise talking as the number one form of therapy? Because it works.
Talking is in human nature, we use words to express our feelings. From when we first learn to make sound we use sound to tell our parents how we feel by crying, giggling and gurgling and as we get older we talk. However as we mature communicating our feelings becomes more complicated, but talking it does not become any less important.
Men in particular are socialised to internalise feelings, rather than give voice to them. Being the rock, staying strong, stiff upper lip call it what you like but staying quiet is not being strong.
Gents, talking about your feelings isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s part of taking charge of your wellbeing and doing what you can to stay healthy and strong.
We are living in a time where many are isolated, parks and cities are filled with silence and this gives negative thoughts oxygen.
When we don’t talk we lose perspective, we can over think, we sometimes over complicate and become trapped in our own mind. Problems get disproportionately large, our minds can very quickly jump to worst case scenarios. This is why it’s often lying in bed at 3am that things can seem at their very worst.
You might be worried about your business or your job, you may be feeling lonely and isolated, you may be concerned for your marriage or you may be struggling with homeschooling.
All this causes pressure and stress, speaking to someone will help.
Normal daily face to face talking opportunities may be limited as in lockdown we are having less face to face interactions so now is the time to pick up the phone and speak to a buddy.
- The most obvious form of talking might simply be venting. Take the pressure cooker analogy: If you don’t open the lid periodically, the steam builds up and eventually explodes. By venting the steam you take away some of the pressure,
- Talking gives us a sense of “doing” something. By talking, we are being proactive and doing something. We are taking control by reaching out and making a connection.
- Talking lets us hear ourselves, by listening to ourselves we can often make sense of our thoughts and sometimes answer our own questions.
- Thoughts and feelings are sometimes less daunting when we say them out loud.Talking lets us order our thoughts, often as you explain something or tell someone about something it brings order and perspective to thoughts.
- As well as talking helping you feel supported and less alone, it works both ways and it might encourage others to do the same.